Black Diaries

48. Black Widow Taking Off

For a while, I continued to live in New York. I liked my job here, and liked my underground hideout in the former underground garage—living there made me feel like a supervillain. Plus, it was rather amusing to have Jill try to console my broken heart, when actually, this time it wasn't broken at all. It wasn't even disappointed, really. Another part of me, below the waist, might be feeling some disappointment after parting ways with Elliot and Zack, but the advice of that particular body part was probably not a good basis for a stable relationship.

Finally, though, I began to feel restless. There was nothing really to anchor me to the Big Apple anymore. Sure, there was Jill, and work, but... I still felt that pull inside me to go find love. And I didn't think I would find it in a city so full of memories that belonged firmly in the past.

Plus, if I stayed, problems lurked in the future, too: the police were sniffing everywhere for signs of me more eagerly than ever. There were rumors on the internet that they were even thinking about setting up a special task force, dedicated specifically to the task of hunting down sweet little me.

I could easily believe it. No less than twice in one week I saw my poster on a public wall. Neither of the two posters bore the caption "Winner of the Annual New York Police Department Beauty Contest." What if, one day, Jill saw one of those posters? I didn't even want to think about it.

I had to leave. But where could I go? Where in America would I be safe from the FBI?

I was just pouring milk into Lucky's bowl, with her looking on, impatient for the silly human to be finished, when the idea struck me: I wouldn't be safe anywhere in the USA. But I would be overseas.

Oh dear.

Leave America?

You might have gained a different impression, but I wasn't really a very adventurous girl. I had always been a small town girl, shy, sensitive and happy to stay home and cuddle up with my pet, a good book and a bag of gummy bears. All this moving to New York and slaughtering a couple of husbands had happened more or less accidentally.

Oh? And the striptease and sandwich sex last week? Did that happen accidentally, too?

All right, maybe I had changed a bit since Hilly Springs. A tiny little bit.

Still, the idea of living outside the US of A frightened me a little. How empty would I feel if I didn't see the star spangled banner fluttering from every corner? How would I cope with not being able to buy any guns and knives and other everyday serial killer equipment at Walmart? And were there gummy bears outside of the US?

"Meow!"

Startled by the protesting noise, I looked down and saw that the milk was flowing over the rim of Lucky's bowl. She was glaring at me, as if she were saying "Now look what a mess you've made in my own personal kingdom!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry! Really, I am!" Grabbing an old towel hanging over a nearby chair, I hurriedly started to mop up the flood. "I'll clean this up away."

"Meow."

"By the way, since we are talking—how would you like living in a foreign country?"

"Meeeeow!"

"No, not to Peru! I know they eat cats there. I would never do that to you."

"Meeow?"

"I don't know if they have good cat food where we're going. I haven't decided on a destination yet."

"Meow!"

"You're right. I'd better start. There you go." Rising from the floor, I watched, smiling, as Lucky began to slurp away at her milk. After depositing the milk-soaked towel in the wash, I went to my computer and typed "English-speaking countries" into the search engine. A number of images popped up on the screen, one of which was a map with all the English-speaking world.