Dazai x Chuuya Oneshot stories

Death is short

In which Dazai meets a short, hat-wearing man who claims to be death. Dark Era Dazai.

"Hey Idiot!"

Huh. What's happening? He blinked groggily, stumbling as he pushed himself up. Did I succeed?

"No. No you didn't."

His vision was still blurry but he swore that there was this midget man standing before him. Long, messy red hair that he wanted to ruffle with his hands.

"What the fuck, I'm not part of your shitty BL fantasies, you suicidal freak!"

That made him smile. It was.. cute. Wait. Could he read my mind?!

"Well, no shit Sherlock."

Wasn't that voice familiar? He had dreams. Many where he had met a hilariously rude red head with the poorest taste in fashion-

A cool blade rested on his throat.

"My sense of fashion isn't fucking shit."

Hot tempered and easily offended. Like a child.

"Fuck off."

A smile graced his lips. His vision was still extremely blurry. Maybe the mushrooms that he had previously eaten were causing hallucinations? So, it didn't work. That was disappointing.

Who was this man?

"Now that you ask, heh, I'm Death," the petite man announced proudly.

He sounded very happy with himself. So happy in fact, it made Dazai chuckle a little at the absurdity.

Who knew Death was such an adorable, little, hat wearing, yappy teen?

"Speak for yourself shitty bastard, you ain't no fucking older than I am."

Oh. That's right. But it still made him laugh at the absurdity of it all.

He wasn't wanting to upset Oda, no no, but surely he would understand. Even at [insert Mafia Dazai's age here when he first attempted suicide], it was well thought out and for a good reason. What had he to lose?

"Everything."

He didn't have anything.

"Yeah, listen to yourself you fucking asshole." He sounded angry. Why? "Fuck everything that cared for you, huh? Selfish fucking bastard."

Ah. Selfish. That hurt. (Do not say this to an actual suicidal person. I repeat, do not call them selfish.)

"Time to wake up."

A/N: sorry for the ooc and shortness as well as the inconsistent upload schedule as ever. School has been getting hectic even though it's on the internet lmao. The teachers have slightly overdone it with assignments. As always, stay safe, stay healthy and I'll see you next time.

And I don't know why, but I felt the need to just say, if you are suicidal, or know if anyone suicidal, there are hotlines that may help, but most importantly be there for them. It helps a lot to know someone cares. And even though it may be extremely hard to reach out, and I understand it is, please do try.

The road ahead may be long and weary, but there are people who are willing to walk with you.