In The Bleak Midwinter | T Shelby

SIXTEEN - A BLACK EYE

Seeing Lizzie's smug face every single day when Kaia arrived at work was one of the most painful things she'd ever felt. She wasn't in love with Thomas Shelby, in fact she'd spent a lot of time convincing herself that whatever it was she felt towards him was purely lust, however she couldn't deal with being second best.

It was hard for her to think about Thomas with Lizzie after the morning after he'd saved her life, but she had no choice other than to face it. She was torturing herself daily by revisiting the memory of that morning and the way she felt when he held her, the look in his eye that made him vulnerable, even it was only for a moment. Kaia felt like she'd seen a different side to Tommy, only now she knew that it had clearly meant nothing.

She hadn't seen him since the dinner party at John's house two weeks ago and truthfully, she was happy. Kaia wasn't sure that she'd be able to look him in the eye if it came to it, especially not if Lizzie was in the room as well.

She'd made the decision to not tell Beth and Eliza anything, from the assault down to the sex. She'd kept it a secret from everybody and she thought Thomas would've done the same, only she was wrong.

"Kaia get down here now!"

It was a Saturday afternoon and Kaia was alone in the house. She had been all day, her father and Bonnie had been gone since Thursday, but the sound of the door slamming open and Aberama's voice echoing up the staircase announced their arrival back home.

Kaia's heart rose to her mouth, wondering what it was that her father so desperately wanted to talk to her about. She'd been at work every single day and she hadn't seen her friends apart from one evening when they had a quick drink in The Marquis after work.

She made her way down the stairs, taking a deep breath before walking into the kitchen and seeing her father pacing around the table. Bonnie was perched on the arm of the sofa, his head hung low and a cut above his eyebrow.

Kaia opened her mouth to speak, but the room stayed silent. Aberama looked up at his daughter, his face stained with disappointment and anger, though Kaia was still clueless.

"Is there something you need to tell me, Kaia?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No, I don't think so, I-"

Aberama groaned and rolled his eyes, walking over to her.

"Thomas fucking Shelby, and my daughter, in my own fucking house."

He was laughing now, a sarcastic laugh that told Kaia her father couldn't believe what he'd been told. She felt sick, anxiety settling in as her heart began to race and her palms grew sweaty.

"How..." she whispered, shaking her head ever so slightly.

"It doesn't matter how I know, Kaia, I just know. Your brother took a black eye for that, right in the middle of an argument."

Bonnie slowly lifted up his head and Kaia gasped when she saw the purple bruising around his eye. She felt ill with guilt and she wanted to cry, feeling like she'd made the worst mistake of her life.

"He did this?" Kaia asked as she rushed to wet a cloth before walking over to her brother and holding it against his eye.

She looked at Bonnie who gave her a small smile and discretely took her hand in his own, squeezing it tightly. He wanted to let her know that it was alright, that he didn't resent her for what she'd done and it wasn't her fault, even if their father was acting like it was.

"Yes, threw a right punch at him. Thought you'd have done better to dodge that, kid."

Kaia looked at Bonnie who hung his head low again, hurt by his father's comment. Her heart began to hurt and she felt desperately lost and confused, not knowing what the right thing to say or do was.

Aberama didn't spend anymore time downstairs with his children. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen and took it upstairs with him, slamming the door behind him.

Kaia and Bonnie sat in silence for a while until Bonnie eventually spoke up.

"He'll be alright in a while," he said, "He just doesn't like the fact that someone fucked his daughter, let alone someone like Tommy."

"I'm sorry."

Bonnie laughed softly, shaking his head, "Don't be. It was a stupid argument and Tommy lost his head, told Dad what had happened and Dad got angry, they were both as bad as each other. I got in the middle at the wrong time."

Kaia sighed and gave her brother a small smile before offering to clean his face for him, pouring him a glass of whiskey as he lit the fireplace and went upstairs to grab his blanket.

As she was in the kitchen getting a towel and face cloth out, Kaia turned when she heard a knock at the door. She glanced up at the clock and saw that it was past eight o'clock, wondering who would be visiting at that time.

Nevertheless, she wandered over to the door and opened it, feeling a cold breeze hit her as she did so.

"Kaia." Tommy said in a low breath. He looked shocked, as if he didn't expect her to answer the door.

"Can I help you?" She asked, hiding from the cold behind the door.

"I came to apologise."

"I'm not disturbing my dad, he's in a bad mood. You'll have to wait till you next see him."

"No, not to your dad," he shook his head, his eyes narrowed as if it was obvious, "To you. I shouldn't have said what I said to them, it wasn't my place to tell them what happened. I'm sorry, I hope he hasn't been too hard on you."

"Apology accepted. Anything else?"

"Kaia who is- oh."

Bonnie came walking into the front room with his blanket folded over his arm and his suspenders hanging down from his waist, a clean vest on now instead of the one stained with blood.

"Evening, Bonnie. Sorry about your eye."

Bonnie just shrugged, "I've taken worse. But if you speak about my sister like that again, it'll be you getting worse, understand?"

Tommy stared at Bonnie, his hands deep in his pockets and his cap casting a dark shadow across half of his face. He had a long wool coat on that raindrops had collected on the collar and boots that were splashed with mud.

"Understood."

There was a silence that lingered for a few seconds. Kaia looked at Bonnie, giving him a nod and a smile telling him that he should disappear for a minute to let her talk to Thomas. He did so, not before giving Tommy one last glare.

Tommy waited until Bonnie was out of sight and the door was closed before he spoke.

"If it means anything to you, I made a mistake with her. I'm sorry, I really am. It was a foolish mistake to make, I know that now."

Kaia wasn't too sure what Tommy meant. She was still no clearer on whether or not Thomas wanted something more between the two of them, or if it was a moment of madness that he'd indulged in. At first, she thought it was the latter, but the sincerity in his apology was slowly making her change her mind.

"So what does that mean?" Kaia asked, leaning on the doorframe.

"It means, I'd like to start again with you. Do things properly."

Kaia just scoffed, "People don't get second chances with me, Thomas."