Chapter Twenty-Nine

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Evelyn Banks

Skipping school one day transformed into two, then three and then somehow two weeks had passed by without me even realising it. My days at home had begun looping into a repetitive and mundane routine. So in attempts of trying to fill my days with purpose, I go out and run errands or go to Barry who refuses my help and actually tells me to 'get my ass back to school'.

It's another Tuesday when my dad sits at the kitchen table, confused but not questioning why I'm still at home. Everytime the phone rings, who is undoubtedly my school trying to track me down, I reassure him that it's probably another caller for charity and not to worry about it. As I'm frying up bacon I hear my phone vibrate, and as selfish as it is, I hope it's Rafe.

It's not, it's just another notification, but not from Rafe. After our break up at Barry's which turned into a shit show to say the least, it's been radio silent from his side. I haven't heard a word from him and stubbornly, I haven't attempted to try and contact him. I want to apologise for hurting his feelings, for even breaking it off with him in the first place instead of getting him help.

But then I remember what he said to me, those words that have been on constant replay in my head since the moment they left his mouth. He lied to me about still being on drugs and if he wanted to get the help, he would've. I'm not his mom, I don't need to hold his hand and try to fix him when he won't do it himself.

I convince myself that the silence is good, from both ends. Maybe this break was what was needed to keep us both sane. Yet still, I can't help but hope he's going to text or call me to apologise so we can mend this relationship.

"I'm going to work now" My dad presses a kiss to my temple, pulling me out of my daze of looking at my phone.

I wave him off at the door before moving to collapse onto the living room sofa, my mind attempting to come up with things to do to keep myself busy. So instead of leaving to make the trip to Barry's, I deep clean the house. The shelves that have been neglected and photo frames collecting with dust, I clean away at.

As I'm cleaning out a drawer full of miscellaneous items, my fingers skim across stray photos from the photo books stored away somewhere. I hum, pulling them out and admiring my parents who looked so young and innocent. They were my age and laughing at god knows what behind the camera, they looked so happy and in love.

I can't help but feel my chest ache at the thought of how my mom would deal with my father's addiction. She would know what to do, how to help him. She would stay by his side. I've seen a minuscule amount of Rafe's and I'm already running from him, just like he said. Maybe he was right, that I'm just too scared to face any of it.

I grow cold, giving the photos one last look before I tuck them away in the drawer and continue cleaning around the neglected cabinets. By the time I've finished the whole house, I barely notice that time has passed and my dad's already pulling into our driveway.

"Dad, I put your..."

"Some people from your school came by the shop today" He cuts me off as he enters through the door, his tone causing my good mood to falter.

"Said you've been skipping class— for two and a half weeks" He continues.

"Dad, look— I'm sorry for lying but..." I start but fail to find the words to explain it to him. Of how I've messed up with my life long friends and now they don't even want to know me. Of how my relationship with Rafe ended so badly I can't even fathom the thought of seeing him again.

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