ONLY YOU

16 - bad Mia?

"i can't," i swallowed.

"why?"

i just shook my head, my heart suddenly thundering.

"don't you trust me?" he asked.

"you're overreacting,"

"am i?"

"yes."

i turned to leave but he grabbed my wrist.

i spun around and pushed him in the chest, sending him crashing into the wall.

"don't ask me that again," i snapped.

his eyes were wide and his breathing was heavy as he looked down at me, his expression miles away from the one he wore minutes ago.

i tried to ignore the way his hands clenched into fists.

how sick it made me feel.

"fine," he sounded angry. deflated. hurt.

i turned and walked out of the room, walked through the whole house, into the ocean room, out of the kitchen door and down the stairs to the beach.

once my feet touched the sand i dropped the board i'd picked up and removed my t-shirt and shorts, tying my hair into a ponytail and securing the board strap around my ankle.

i waded into the warm Hawaiian ocean before laying flat on my board and paddling far out to sea.

it was a calm day and there were no waves big enough to surf.

i simply stretched out on my board, my arms and legs dangling in the deep water.

i tried to clear my mind, breathing in the salty air and listening to the breeze but all i could think of was JJ.

i had no idea how he would react if i told him what i'd done.

he'd probably never speak to me again.

i stayed on my board until it was dark, having watched the sun drift across the sky and dip below the horizon.

when i began to paddle back to shore i noticed a figure sitting next to my clothes.

he walked towards me as i slipped off my board into the shallow water and waded back onto the dry sand, reaching out and handing me a towel he brought from the house.

"thanks," i wrapped myself up.

"did you know his Dad hits him?"

"what?"

my cousin nodded slowly. "i know you didn't know but... you should."

"i pushed him into a wall earlier..."

"i know,"

"i didn't know,"

"i know," John B opened his arms and held me tight, rubbing my back.

"is he okay?" i whispered.

"it'll take a bit more than you pushing him to hurt him."

"that's not a good thing,"

"no, it's not."

"where is he?"

"inside,"

"should i... apologise?" i frowned.

"do you know how?" he raised his eyebrows.

"it won't hurt to try," i shrugged as John B picked up my board and clothes.

i found JJ in his room, standing on the balcony.

i walked hesitantly into the bedroom, holding my towel around me.

i cleared my throat. "i'm here to apologise,"

"okay,"

"i shouldn't have pushed you."

he didn't say anything.

"and i'm... sorry." the word felt foreign on my tongue.

"don't worry about it."

"i am worried," i took a few steps closer. "i hurt you."

"not physically," he shrugged, turning and heading back into the room.

"not physically?" i followed him. "what?"

"i'm not physically hurt, Mia."

i stared at his back for a long time, watching his head and shoulders drop.

i moved towards him half a step at a time and placed my hand on his back.

when he didn't resist my touch i leaned my head on between his shoulder blades.

"you know something?" my voice was barely a whisper.

"tell me,"

"i'm crazy about you, JJ."

"Mia..."

i waited for him to continue, to say something—to say anything.

but there was silence for a long while, so long i took a step away from him and reached for the door handle.

"stop," he grabbed my wrist, his hand sliding over the bracelet he gave me. "i... i don't know how to say it yet but..."

his blue eyes searched mine for something i couldn't place.

"i like you more than i've ever liked anyone," he swallowed. "as in... the other thing that begins with 'l'."

i frowned slightly. "love?"

he shrugged. "is it too soon?"

i nodded.

"oh, sor-"

before he could apologise i grabbed his face and brought his lips to mine.

this time there was nothing gentle or slow about it.

we both wanted—needed one thing, and sometimes 'i want' does get.