Someone to stay || JJ Maybank

25

"And you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever"

"Are you okay?" I see JJ glances at me from the side. His head is down, and hands are stuffed deep in his pockets while he keeps kicking the little rocks on the road as we walk.

"Yeah, I'm fine", I try to sound convincing, shrugging like I really had nothing that big on my mind. And I guess I really didn't, have anything big on my mind. Somehow I just felt everything stronger tonight. It's part of the teenage experience or something.

We went back to the Chateau after we left Sarah and Kie to the marsh. John B asked us all to stay there for the night so we could go back to get them in the morning but in the end only Pope decided to stay. I thought JJ would too but here he was, walking me home in the middle of the night. I have no idea where he was about to go or why he even left with me. He couldn't go home, I wouldn't allow it after hearing his dad hurt him. Even if it was an accident, he should stay away from him for a while, just in case.

"Hey, if this is about Kie and-" JJ stops, turning to fully face me now.

"It's not", I cut him off before he can finish his question. This wasn't about Kie, even though she was in my mind a lot too. JJ raises his brows at me, not believing what I just said. "Really", I try to sound more convicing now.

"Then what is it?" I try to keep walking past JJ but he stops me, gently grabbing my arm. "Why didn't you want to stay at the Chateau?"

I look him in the eyes for a time that felt like forever. It was nothing. I just felt like I should go home, should go see my parents. The closer we got to my house the less sure I started to feel about that but it wasn't the point. What dad said at Midsummers, how he hasn't seen me in forever, it got me thinking. Or not even thinking, I didn't realise it was bothering me before John B asked if we wanted to stay, again. I don't enjoy being at home but don't I owe that to my parents somehow? I've been feeling like I owe a lot of things to everyone lately, so maybe this was one too. They raised me, after all, gave me a life.

But I couldn't open up to JJ about this. So instead I asked him the same question, but it came out a lot meaner than I meant. I didn't want to talk about this, and I wanted him to stop asking about it. "Why didn't you? Where are you even going?"

"What?" I see the hurt flash behind JJ's eyes. But some part of me felt like I had every right to ask him that. He should've stayed with John B and Pope instead of following me with all his questions.

"Whatever, good night JJ!" I snatch my arm from his grip and speed up my steps. We're almost at my house and for some reason everything is annoying me way more than it should, and I can't wait to climb up to my room and just sleep. Turn my head off for a while and feel better tomorrow morning. Seeing mom and dad didn't seem that important anymore.

"Kate, wait! What is it?" JJ shouts after me but I ignore it. I don't want to open up to him because of what he must be going through but also, I don't want him to be the person I take this out on. I don't even know what "this" is, so it would be even worse.

"Come on! Katherina!" I keep ignoring JJ as I walk to the tree below my window. Thankfully I've climbed up like hundred times more than JJ and could do it with my eyes closed, and can easily make it to the roof when JJ's still trying to find a place for his foot in the first branches. Being in my room didn't feel like a good opition anymore, and I'd much rather just sit here, on the roof, until the morning came and John B and Pope would pick us up to get Kie and Sarah. God, I wish Kie was here. She wouldn't ask me all these questions.