smooth seas//john b

fifty seven

I sit in the truck between JJ and John B. I still can't believe we're doing this. Never did I think we'd be transporting drugs with JJ.

"Any idea what's in the back of this truck?" John B asks.

"Yes, John B, I know what's in the back of the truck. And it's gonna be fine," JJ insists. "It's gonna work out. Okay?"

"I am sick of your bullshit plans, man," John B tells him.

"I second that," I add.

JJ grits his teeth. "Goddamn!"

"No, I'm just saying this might top the time you told me to fake appendicitis in jail," John B states.

"And that almost worked," JJ argues.

"No, it didn't," I tell him.

"Get the map out," JJ tells John B. "I have no idea where I'm going."

"All right, we need to get to 158, okay?" John B tells him.

"Just give..." JJ grabs the map.

"It's this one," I tell him.

JJ rips the page out of the map book.

"You just ripped it out," John B states.

"Jesus Christ. There it is. It's gonna be a nice..." JJ starts.

"Cop. JJ, JJ, there's a cop," John B warns.

"Shit," JJ says.

"Play it cool," I tell them. "Just be cool JJ."

"No, you're not cool," JJ tells me.

"I'm not cool?" I ask. "I'm super cool."

"I'm as cool as it gets," JJ says.

"What are you doing?" John B asks. "Don't do that."

"I'm just gonna wave," JJ says.

"JJ? What are... I told you..." John B starts.

As we pass the cop JJ does the dumbest thing he can do and waves. He actually waves at a cop.

"Hi, officer," JJ says.

I grab JJ's hand. He swerves across the road.

"Why'd you touch me?" JJ asks.

"Don't wave at cops!" John B shouts. "Rule number one of driving a U-Haul! We've been in the car for five minutes."

"He's getting in," JJ warns.

"Okay, okay. Just act very, very calm," John B tells him.

I hear the cop turn his siren on.

"Shit, he's coming! He's coming!" JJ shouts. "Shit! Damn it! Dude, goblin mode, all right? We gotta lose him, okay?"

"Goblin mode?" John B asks. "What's that even mean, JJ?"

"Now's not the time to be talking nonsense, JJ," I tell him.

"That's what we gotta do! Hang on!" JJ shouts. "I got this!"

"JJ," I say.

JJ sharply turns the wheel. We drive off into the woods.

"Get out! Go, go, go!" JJ tells us.

"Okay. I swear to God, if we get through this, I'm gonna kill you!" John B tells him.

"You probably won't have to because Barracuda Mike will first," JJ assures.

The three of us take off running through the woods. We make it back to the van.

"My dad is somewhere in South America right now, probably with a knife to his throat, and what are we doing?" John B asks. "Moving weight? In goblin mode? What does that even mean JJ?"