The First Cut Is The Deepest

Chapter 2: Sunrises Old & New

🎶Song of The Chapter: "Broken" by Lifehouse🎶

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head

I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead

And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes

That are lookin' for purpose, they're still lookin' for life

I'm fallin' apart, I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain (in the pain), is there healing?

In your name (in your name), I find meaning

~Lyrics from "Broken" by Lifehouse

JJ always wakes up during the twilight before sunrise. He does this every morning, its become a habit for him for the past two and a half years now.

He sits up for a second before getting out of bed, picks up a black and blue checkered flannel that was laying on the floor and puts it on, leaving the front unbuttoned. He stands and walks out of his bedroom to climb up the stairs onto the deck of his houseboat.

He goes to the bow of the boat and leans on the railing to watch the sunrise, like he does every morning. Him and the sunrise have become quite acquainted with each other the past of couple years due to his lack of sleep throughout the night. But he's discovered there's something about watching the sun rise that appeals to him. Maybe it's that the sun is so far away, but can still somehow manage to be so beautiful. Maybe he feels like it's just the sun and him for those few silent minutes. That everything feels peaceful, quiet, and still.

The light of the sun finally hits his face, and he closes his eyes to feel the warmth on his face. This feeling, the stillness, the peace, the beauty, the warmth. It numbs the gaping hole that's been left on his heart for a short time.

He felt that feeling 24/7, day and night for three years when he was with her.

Her.

The her that he loved since he was eleven years old.

The her who changed his life.

The her who made him a better man.

The her who was the only true home he ever knew.

The her that doesn't belong with him anymore.

The her that left a permanent dent in his soul.

JJ hears a yawn and footsteps behind him on the deck, which snaps him out of his morning "routine".

"Morning you." he hears as arms wrap around his torso.

He closes his eyes again, and feels the arms around him, hoping that when he turns around they'll be hers.

"Morning." he replies.

"What are you doing up so early?" she asks.

The arms it turned out, weren't hers.

He turns around so that they're face to face.

"I'm always up early Jessa, you know that." he replies.

"Well why don't we change that, and you come back to bed for a little while longer, what do you think?" she suggests.

"Not today, I got to get ready to go to the chateau." he tells her.

Jessa nods her head in disappointment.

He puts his hands on her shoulders, "maybe tomorrow okay?" he says looking into her green eyes.