throwing rocks at your window // Topper Thornton

four

love at my front door

Topper stood in front of me only wearing a pair of sweat pants. I let my eyes fall down his chest to his abs to his v line to his very noticeable bulge in his pants.

I felt redness spread across my face and chest. This was the first time I ever really got a good look at Topper. He was toned and defined and slightly tanned. The sound of his voice always annoyed me and I couldn't bare to look at him so I had never realized how handsome he was.

When he was silent that is.

Topper put his hands in his pockets and gestured with a small nod of his head, "Let's talk about this."

I followed Topper up the stairs to his room. I'd never been in his room before. It was surprisingly clean and organized. There was a small couch at one end of the room in front of a tv. He had a pretty insane gaming set up with every game I could think of and multiple consoles.

There were shelves full of books and board games and awards and trophies that were meticulously arranged. I ran my hand along a shelf of pictures, stopping to examine a picture of Rafe, Topper, and I at graduation. Rafe stood between us with his arms hanging over our shoulders and a wide smile plastered on his face. I was turned towards Topper, mouth opened wide and Topper was gesturing wildly with an angry expression on his face.

A small smile played on my lips as I picked up the picture frame, "I remember this day. I can't believe you had it framed."

Topper emerged from his large walk in closet pulling a tshirt over his head, "Believe it or not, that's the best one my mom got."

I let out a laugh, "What were we even fighting over?"

Topper flopped onto his large bed and shrugged his shoulders, "You always find something to bitch at me about so who knows what it was that time."

I set the picture back in its place and sat on the edge of his bed, "Yeah, sorry about that."

I ran my hand over his bed spread. It was silky and soft and I wanted to wrap it around my body.

I glanced over my shoulder at Topper, he was picking his fingers and staring at the ceiling, "Was I really that bad?"

Topper laughed, "Yeah, anytime I tried to say anything you immediately attacked my entire existence. I always had to be on my guard around you."

I felt anger rise in my chest.

There was no way I was that mean.

It's not my fault that anytime he opened his mouth something stupid came out. It's also not my fault he always tagged along so I never got any alone time with Rafe.

He was also mean.

I never felt so fat and ugly as I did when I was around Topper. He would always compare me to whatever girl Rafe was with. Or whatever girl they deemed hottest at whatever party or dinner or library we were at. He was constantly trying to embarrass me or put me down in front of Rafe.

I watched as Topper disappeared back into his closet. I played with the hem of my dress and waited for him to come back. I imagined what life would be like when Rafe finally realized he wanted to be with me. Long nights on the beach and in bed, early mornings on the boat, brunch and dinners with our friends. I couldn't help but muster a small smile.