Missing You • JIARA •

15

Kie's POV:

I drove home and brought Ella inside and said, "It's just you and me baby girl, daddy is going on a work trip and he'll be home soon"

I don't know why I was telling her that. She was two months old. I talked to her all the time, but I think I was saying this to comfort myself. I haven't been away from JJ this long since he left me. I know it probably seems stupid but I get major anxiety about him leaving me again. JJ called me as soon as he landed and I was fine all day until I went to bed and he wasn't there.

It brought back so many memories of the night he left. Tonight, I found myself crying myself to sleep. I wanted so badly to call JJ and talk to him but I didn't want to screw up his night and his big meeting tomorrow.

I spent most of the night up with Ella anyways and it helped because when I looked at her, I saw him. I crashed the next night and spent the day distracting myself.

JJ texted me pretty much as often as he could and he'd facetime before I put Ella down. He missed her so much. I put her down and then he saw me and he could tell something was wrong.

"Kie... Baby... I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. I just miss you"

"I miss you too. I'll see you tomorrow. I can't wait to hold you, cuddle you, and kiss you all night long"

I smiled and said, "I can't wait"

JJ and I talked for a little while longer. He talked to me as I fell asleep. I woke up a few times with Ella and I was so excited that JJ was coming home today.

It felt like forever until we were at the airport picking him up. He got into the car and hugged me.

"I missed you so fucking much" He said as he kissed me

We were making out and I got honked at to move. We laughed as we broke apart and I drove home. When we got home, JJ carried Ella inside and his bag.

He put the car seat and the bag down and then he picked up our daughter and held her. He sat on the couch with our baby girl and I unpacked his suitcase and got some laundry going.

He was enjoying time with his little girl and I loved watching the two of them bonding.

I fed Ella and JJ made dinner for us. I got Ella to bed with JJ and then I went to clean up the kitchen.

I just finished the dishes and I heard the shower start. Suddenly, JJ wrapped his arms around me and said, "Come shower with me"

He kissed my neck and I followed him into the bathroom. We both got in the shower where we continued our little make-out sesh. JJ washed his hair and then he washed mine. He was kissing my body and touching every inch of it, including my stomach.

We've had sex twice since Ella was born, both times with the lights off and not a lot of physical touch. I backed away and JJ stopped and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine... Just tired" I lied

JJ looked at me and said, "I know you're lying"

My heart started racing and I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body. The shower, the trip, it was all too much. It brought back all the memories.

I quickly got dressed and JJ came out in a towel to get dressed and I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and got ready for bed. I went and laid down in bed and faced away from JJ.

I quietly cried and JJ wrapped his arms around me. I broke down crying and he pulled me closer.

"I'm sorry, I love you and it's not that I don't want you because I do. It's just the shower and you going to California. It just made me think of then you left and I know it's stupid because I know you aren't leaving."

"It's not stupid. It's all my fault. I love you, Kie" He said holding me even closer

JJ kissed my neck and he said, "I love you. You're beautiful pre-baby and post-baby. Your body is perfect. Of course, I want to have sex with you because you're my girlfriend. But you're also my girlfriend and all I want to do is be with you. So please just let me hold you while you fall asleep"

"Okay" I said as he held onto me and he kissed my head as he held me in his arms

I fell asleep and woke up to Ella crying. This was her hungry cry so I got up to feed her. She was in her own room and I sat up in the chair by her crib as I breastfed her.

JJ appeared and sat on the back of the chair and he rubbed my shoulders while I fed the baby. I got up and laid her back down. JJ and I went to our bedroom and fell asleep.

The next morning, he was making breakfast and he had Ella in her swing.

"Good morning" He said putting a plate of food in front of me

"Good morning, thank you" I said eating

It shocked me how JJ was such a good cook. We spent the day at home and I was feeling much better about what happened last night.

A few days passed by and things were still the same. I was now super sick and throwing up all the time. This went on for a week and I was exhausted. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted.

I just hope Ella doesn't get sick. A sick baby is the last thing I needed. I was a mess and I was laying on the bathroom floor, puking my guts out. I stayed in there for about another thirty minutes.

I took a pregnancy test just in case and it came back positive. I started crying and JJ asked, "What's wrong?"

"I'm pregnant" I said with tears