RIPTIDE | Rafe Cameron

32. 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴

There's blood everywhere and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm on the tarmac again and my body is shaking as I stare at my bloodstained hands. I scramble to try and stand up but I can't, my body won't let me move.

A gunshot rings through my ears and I look up to see Rafe's body lying on the ground, blood seeping from a wound in his chest where his heart should be. As I glance down at my hands I realise the gun is in my hands, but no matter how hard I try I can't let go of it.

"You did this, it's all your fault." An indistinguishable voice tells me.

Rafe's lifeless body just lies there, his fate out of my control. The entire Cameron family watch me in disgust, yet none of them run in to save Rafe. It's only me who seems to care as I struggle to free myself from the shackles that restrict me.

"Stop!" I scream, "I just want it to stop!"

"Sid!" I hear JJ's voice, "Sid, wake up!"

My body jolts as my eyes open, my whole body shivering as I stare up at JJ who's leaning over me, his hands on my shoulders. I quickly realise where I am, my eyes stinging from the sun as I stare at JJ's face, the morning sun filling the room.

"You're okay, Sid," JJ assures me as I sit up in the bed, "It was just a bad dream."

"I'm so sorry," I whisper, "Did I wake you up?"

"No," He replies, but I can tell that he's lying, "But you were screaming in your dream, and I could tell that it was bad."

"It keeps happening, but this is the first time it's happened since the coke, and every time it's what I saw on the tarmac, but it's a different person I care about." I explain, picking at my chipped nail polish.

"And who was it in that one?" JJ whispers.

"Rafe."

"Everything is okay, Sid," JJ soothes, wrapping his arms around me and brushing my hair out of my face, "You're going to be fine."

The four of us stayed at the chateau last night, Pope and Kiara on the couches and JJ and I in the spare room. I couldn't bear the thought of sleeping alone, and JJ understands better than anyone else how to handle my anxiety. I appreciated the company while I was asleep, and without JJ by my side I imagine the nightmares would've been a lot worse.

He insisted on building a pillow wall, not wanting to accidentally overstep while we were asleep. It's not something we've ever done before, but I suppose it's different now that I'm in recovery from addiction and my relationship with Rafe.

"This is never going to end," I mumble into his bare chest, "I just want it to stop."

"It will," He sighs, resting his head on top of mine, "You just need to give yourself time."

"I know, but I hate it." I reply, pulling away from his embrace.

"Right, you need your mind taken off of this, so get yourself freshened up, and I'll make you the best breakfast possible." JJ announces as he climbs out of the bed.

"I barely have anything here, just clothes." I tell him.

"Well then, get some clean clothes on," He instructs me, "We're not going to get you better sitting here all day."

I salute him dramatically with a grin, "Yes sir."

Once JJ's left the room I climb out of the bed, shuffling over to the drawer where I used to leave my spare clothes. I pull out a pair of blue denim shorts, a black bikini and one of JJ's old plaid shirts. I change out of the t-shirt and shorts I wore in bed last night and put on my fresh clothes. I grab a can of deodorant from the dresser and spray it liberally before tying my hair up in a bun on top of my head before heading out into the living room.