I barely slept last night, riddled with guilt caused by all the lies I've told Rafe. After I told him that I needed time to trust him when we were at Singh's, he's trusting me with more or less every detail of this plan.
As I sit beside him in our bed, watching the morning sun dance over his bare torso, I hate myself for the person I've become. But what makes it harder is that my reasons for helping the Pogues far outweigh the reasons for helping Rafe. At least my coked up manipulated former self was easier to hate.
Over the last twelve hours I have doubted whether or not taking the cross from Rafe will actually make me happy. And while I don't think it will, my happiness is not the end goal here. I would love a version of this world in which Rafe can live in the same place as the pogues while they have the cross, but that's unrealistic. I don't want to lose my best friends, but selfishly I don't want to lose Rafe either, and I'd rather my friends be safe, comforted by each other, content in the knowledge that they have the cross than waiting for Rafe's wrath of fury to unleash.
"Today's the day," Rafe mumbles, startling me as he rolls over, snaking his arms around my waist, "We're getting what's ours, baby."
"Yeah," I nod half heartedly, staring out of the open window.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks, sitting up beside me, resting his hand against my cheek and tilting my eyes towards him, "Did you sleep alright?"
"Yeah," I nod, "It's just still weird being back here, I feel like I've barely stopped these last few days, from Poguelandia to Barbados to being captured by Singh then to Guadeloupe and now here, I'm just exhausted."
"Hey," Rafe soothes, pulling me towards him so that my head rests against his bare chest as we lean back against the headboard, "Once we've got the cross we'll have all the time in the world."
"And Mexico?" I whisper as Rafe brushes my hair out of my face.
"We'll be in Cancun before my Dad can even bat an eyelid," He tells me, kissing the top of my head.
"And you're really okay doing this to your family?" I ask, glancing up at him, "There's still time if you change your mind."
"I'm sure," He insists, "I'm taking what's mine, and that's all my father needs to know."
"So the plan?" I mutter, trailing my fingers up and down his bare abdomen.
"It's all in hand, we've assessed the weak spots on the route and we're targeting the train at the end of it's journey, just before it reaches the train yard," He tells me, running his fingers up and down my arm, "They won't even notice."
"Good," I smile as the phone Rafe gave me last night buzzes on my nightstand. It's one of his old phones, and given that mine is lost goodness knows where, I appreciate the gesture.
"Who's that?" Rafe mumbles as I lean over to the nightstand, seeing the false contact I set for Sarah flash up on the screen.
"My sister," I lie, climbing out of bed and taking the phone with me, "I remember her number so I texted her last night."
"Right," Rafe nods as I stand by the window, opening the message from Sarah.
SUSIE: Call me when you get this :)
Well I could hardly save her number under her actual name could I?
"She just wants to talk to me about something," I tell him, pressing the call button on the contact, safe enough in the knowledge that I'm too far out of earshot for Rafe to hear that it's actually Sarah on the other end of the phone.
"Hey Sid," Sarah answers and in the background I can hear the muffled sound of the Pogues talking, but it's not clear enough to make out who, "How's it going?"
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RIPTIDE | Rafe Cameron
फैनफिक्शन𝙍𝙄𝙋𝙏𝙄𝘿𝙀: 𝙖 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙧 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙪𝙡𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙡. "𝘚𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘨𝘶𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩?" 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴, 𝘧𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴...
