twenty-one

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Yall know the drill ~

Rafe walked to me with burning eyes as he slammed the back doors of the truck close. He strode to me quickly, jaw clenched. I clicked the gun. He stopped when he heard it and held his hands up, "Give me the gun, y/n."

"I'm so done with..." I spluttered, "everything. I'm done with you hurting people just because you feel like it. I'm done with your mind games -- kissing me one time and then asking me to leave the next!" I knew Limbrey was watching us with blood running down her nose but I didn't give a shit. "I can't win a losing fight!" I screamed to Rafe. He was eyeing the gun and then me. Tears threatened to come out as I saw Renfield's dead body a foot away from me. "Don't you see what you've done, Rafe? You lie to everyone. And you take and take and take but you never think about who you're taking from." Something cast over Rafe's face as he took another step toward me. I tightened my grip on the gun and let a few tears escape my eyes. "But the thing was, I let you take everything from me. I gave you what you wanted a-and now? I have nothing left, but you still want more. And I hate you for--"

"I'm trying to protect you," he said and moved toward me again. "I can--"

"Shut up!" I screamed from my core. "I hate that you have so much power over me and yet I can't stop ending up next to you even when you wished I was dead! And now you're trying to protect me? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He nearly flinched at my words, but it was Rafe after all, the one who never felt anything. "I cared about you when no one did. I stayed with you when you wanted me to. And in return, you treat me like I'm some kind of toy you can throw around and use!" Rafe came so close now that I took it as my sign and rested my finger right on the trigger. "I'm not going to fucking sit around and let you do whatever you want, I'm sorry." I pressed my finger to the trigger just as Rafe launched himself on me. The gun clicked, but nothing came out.

He held me to the ground with his weight and grabbed the gun from my grip. My tears were spilling down my cheeks as I realised what I had just done. His voice sent chills down my spine as he whispered in my ear, "There weren't any more bullets left." 

* * * * *

I can't believe he let me live after I very obviously wanted to kill him. I was too tired to cry as Rafe forced me to go into the truck. He left Limbrey on the cement and hauled Renfield in the truck. He drove away, taking the cross. "Why can't you just do the right thing for once?" I whispered, half-hoping he didn't hear me. 

He gripped the steering wheel. Rafe hesitated before he said, "I just want to...keep what's mine, okay?" By taking things from others, I added in my head.

"Is that why you killed Renfield and Peterkin?" I pressed as he clenched his jaw. "Is that why you're stealing an artefact that belongs in a museum? Is that why we're going to your dad right now to ship it away?" His shoulders tensed at that. He hadn't expected me to know. "Why haven't you killed me when I know everything you're planning? Oh wait, maybe I am already dead because I'm in hell!"

Rafe struck the wheel and said through his teeth, "I told you I'm just protecting what's mine--"

"And what, so you own me, now?" I shouted and expected him to argue back, but he stayed quiet as I studied his face, which was turned to the road. Protecting what's mine. What a bunch of bullshit. 

The steering wheel under his hands gave me an idea but before I could act, he suddenly said, "I lied." Do you want me to check and see if your pants are on fire too? "I'm sorry."

"About which part? Because I think you've lied more than a couple of times--"

"Everything, okay?" he snapped. "I lied about everything I said, but I never lied about my feelings for you. I didn't want you to leave, but I'm telling you, that I was just trying to protect you." He waved his hand and I rolled my eyes. I leaned my elbow on the window as he spoke, "I told you from the fucking beginning that I didn't need this...but I wanted it. So fucking bad." I swallowed back bile. He was just lying again and he knew exactly what I was thinking. "I hope you run away from me because I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to change. I don't want you to become like me, y/n!" He raised his voice, "I don't want you to do the shit I do even though I think about you all the damn time!" I turned to him breathing quickly, sweat rolling down his temple. "I lied when I said that I wanted you dead. Nothing will make me want you dead even if you want me dead." I closed my eyes and shook my head silently. He was lying. This was a lie. He didn't mean any of it. He was going to kill me soon enough. "I knew you wouldn't leave me, so I said the only thing that would."

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