June pressed the front door closed behind her, letting out another huff as she pressed her back to the door. She felt numb, no real emotion in her. She couldn't hold onto a thought as she started making her way up the stairs finally. She opened the bedroom door, her eyes falling on JJ who
was laying shirtless on the bed. His arm was covering his eyes as he laid there, the blankets up over his legs. He looked up at her finally, raising his eyebrows in confusion at her.
"Hey." June said, making her way towards the bed and dropping down beside him.
"Where'd you go?" JJ asked, scooting away from her a bit. She shook her head scooting closer to him and laying her head on his chest.
"It doesn't matter. I just want you to hold me." June said, settling into his chest. He shook his head, scooting away from her again. "Please JJ I don't want to talk about to okay?"
"You don't want to talk about how you're still in love with Zach?" JJ said, his voice getting defensive. June sighed, pulling the blanket off of him and grabbing a pillow, walking right out of the room and doesn't he stairs to the living room. She threw them onto the couch, laying down and covering up with the blanket. She couldn't handle a fight right now and she didn't feel like explaining herself. But she found that as she laid there she was completely unable to sleep, her mind racing as she thought about all the things that had happened that day. She still felt numb, like she couldn't feel anything, and that really scared her. Was she truly a heartless person? She didn't even feel upset at the fact that her own father was hurt and in the hospital? Who was she? Why could she not feel? She knew it probably had something to do with the fact that she had always struggled with feelings, they would always just bury themselves deep down in her and she didn't know how to get them out.
"June really? You'd rather sleep on the couch than talk to me about us? What does this mean huh? Are we breaking up or something?" JJ asked, running a hand through his hair as June looked up at him, confusion all over her face. She sat up, shaking her head.
"What the fuck are you talking about JJ?" She asked suddenly really confused.
"I heard you tell Zach that you love him. And then you left with him.I think that probably means something happen-"
"JJ I don't love Zach. Well I do but just not like that....not how you think. You don't trust me? You think I'd go off and fuck around with him while you're here? You think I'd do that in general?" June was starting to raise her voice how, the emotion locked inside her starting to deep out as anger.
"Well how am I supposed to know what you do? I don't even know barely anything about you because you've never bothered to open up to me. How am I supposed to know if you're ever okay if I can't see past your fake smile?!" JJ had crossed his arms now, anger clear in his face and tone.
"Well fuck you JJ! I mean why the fuck do you even care if I'm okay?!" June asked, throwing her arms into the air as she felt a huge weight fall into her chest.
"June don't you get it?! I care because I'm in love with you! And the thought of you with someone else or the thought of you hurting and me not being able to do anything about it kills me! I never thought that I'd care about you like this but I do! And it hurts that you don't tell me the truth." JJs eyes were staring into hers, both of their jaws clenched as they both were breathing heavily. His hands were sweaty and his heart was pounding as he realized what he said. June softened first, not knowing what to say. All she knew is that she needed to let her emotions out or she would explode.
"JJ-" She choked out as a tear slipped down her cheek. She hadn't cried in a long time, and it felt good to let it go. JJ looked at her in confusion as she started to cry, sobs falling from her lips. He grabbed her, pulling her to him and laying his chin on her head.
"Woah woah woah....I didn't mean to make you cry." JJ said, guilt seeping into him. He let her hair as she let all the pain and pent up emotions out.
"No it's not you." June said, reaching up to grab his face in her hands. She pulled his lips to hers, kissing him with more passion than she ever had felt in her life. He returned it,tasting the saltiness of her tears mixed into the kiss. When they pulled away she wiped her eyes, but her sobs were still coming out. The immense relief she felt was hidden behind the absolute heartbreak that she couldn't shake. She was worried about John B. Heartbroken from Zach. Worried about her dad and if he would even live. Overwhelmed by the new strong feelings that JJ gave her. And JJ didn't know any of this. She finally pulled away from his embrace, leading him up the stairs and to the bed to lay down. He held her there too, waiting until she was ready to tell him to ask his questions. He didn't know what to do really other than just be there for her. When he wanted her to open up he did expect it to happen like this, but he was also thankful that she was actually showing some emotion. He knew all about pent up anger and sadness...he was a master in it. And June had been there when he had broken down so he was determined to be there for her.
After awhile JJ noticed that the cries had stopped, her breathing had slowed , and his chest was no longer getting wet from her years. He looked down at her, admiring her red puffy eyes and her flushed face. He then remembered that he had confessed his love to her , making his cheeks flush as he did so. And she hadn't said it back. He ignored the ache in his heart as he pushed those thoughts i it of his mind, blaming it on her frustration. But he still couldn't stop the doubt from creeping in and keeping him up for half of the night.
______
Short chapter but important nonetheless. Let me know how you guys are feeling about June and JJ and what you think might happen next since the end is coming up soon.
